Looking Back

I look back to a year ago,

so much as changed since then.

This day last year a close friend of my fiance and I's gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Today we were not welcomed to celebrate in her first birthday.

Friendships end for all reasons but this one was one that ended over a selfishness.

People change and sometimes the person you thought they were becomes a shadow

and soon enough their true colors come out.

I trusted this person, I loved this person, I welcomed her and her daughter into my family

but most importantly my heart. 

When I needed a real friend to be there for me

she could not look beyond herself.

I went through the worst trial of life I have ever faced...

I miscarried at 4 weeks.

She told me it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I would not wish a miscarriage on the worst person in the world.

Losing a child, no matter if it was 4 weeks, or 4 years old is hard.

Sometimes I think I can forgive her but other times I think it's best to just move forward.

I cannot let life get me down even when I do not wish to face it.

Friends come and go.

And so she left.

But I know there are better people out there waiting for me to meet.

I will always be grateful for the friends that stayed 

and that have helped me through this.

I look forward cause it's time to stop looking back.