Here we go again

Tomorrow I start my second semester of nursing school. I am both nervous and dreading going back. I know I will be able to make it through if I just get my focus back. It's hard though cause my fiance left for a new job today. He is in Nashville for training then after that who knows what state. He will be gone for six weeks which is the longest he has ever been gone. He will miss Valentines' Day and my birthday next month a long with so many other moments I am sure. It is hard being away from him for so long but I can only hope six weeks will fly by and I will be in his arms again. I am grateful for the good friends I have that are helping me keep busy which will not be too hard with nursing school also on my plate.

The count down begins today so only 41 more days until I see my man !

Looking Back

I look back to a year ago,

so much as changed since then.

This day last year a close friend of my fiance and I's gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Today we were not welcomed to celebrate in her first birthday.

Friendships end for all reasons but this one was one that ended over a selfishness.

People change and sometimes the person you thought they were becomes a shadow

and soon enough their true colors come out.

I trusted this person, I loved this person, I welcomed her and her daughter into my family

but most importantly my heart. 

When I needed a real friend to be there for me

she could not look beyond herself.

I went through the worst trial of life I have ever faced...

I miscarried at 4 weeks.

She told me it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I would not wish a miscarriage on the worst person in the world.

Losing a child, no matter if it was 4 weeks, or 4 years old is hard.

Sometimes I think I can forgive her but other times I think it's best to just move forward.

I cannot let life get me down even when I do not wish to face it.

Friends come and go.

And so she left.

But I know there are better people out there waiting for me to meet.

I will always be grateful for the friends that stayed 

and that have helped me through this.

I look forward cause it's time to stop looking back.